sometimes, letting go of something seemingly good is the best way to achieve true happiness...

wishing....

Today is the last day of November. This month has been a dismal one. A lot of things has happened - things that made me smile, laugh, cry, love and...... numb. I honestly don't know how I was able to survive. I still do my routines, I still come to work and work productively; I still has smile on my face inspite of all the heartaches and numbness; and I still love him.

For awhile, I thought I was a woman with no direction at all after what happened last 11th. After hearing all those words and realizations, I felt so numb. I wanted to cry my heart out but tears won't fall. He said I am good in hiding my real emotions. And I wanted to tell him "you were wrong baby, I was just trying to help you, I don't want to add to your burden" but silence encompassed me that night.

As of today, I still stare at his picture before I turn-off. I still feel him inside me but I chose not to show it for now. Few things have to be considered with loving him, and a lot of things have to be done first to correct all our mistakes. First things first, as the saying goes. But there's one thing that bothers me everyday, he still wants me to stay. He still sends me sms, saying sorry because he's aware that I am irk with what he's doing with his life. I am still hurting, yet I decided to keep in touch with him. He needs me, and I am willing to help him in any way.

Baby, just don't let it come to a point where you can afford to lose yourself for someone who never prove herself much. You deserve to be happy, and sometimes letting go of seemingly good is the best way to achieve that happiness. Baka what you think is your "comfort zone" may be no longer comfortable at all. I just want what's good for you. Someday you'll understand what I am really trying to tell you.

For now, I am praying that I would heal...in God's time.

.............

i miss you so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!

you

You are the reason why even at the saddest part of my life, I smile..



Why even at my confusion, I understand..



Why even in betrayal, I trust...



Why even in fear of pain, I love..




I LOVE YOU BABY!!

i miss you....

yesterday


embrace so tight
kisses so soft
eyes that smile
whenever I pass by
warm touches
caring arms
sweet whispers
that never die
unending laughter
together down the road
wishing on the same star
trying to reach it, yet so far
we've done everything
we've walked under the rain
but now, these are all in vain

missing my baby badly!!! ='(

wishing...

... i will stand the pain..





i know i can..






for you i will...

facts about "love"

".... madaling malaman kung mahal ka ng isang tao, ang mahirap ay kung paano mo malalaman kung mahal ka pa niya." =(

thoughts about "love"

Love is better when it just happens ,

not when it develops over time.

As i was reading an issue of Cosmopolitan magazine, this line caught me. And I found myself in deep thought of him.

think.. think.. think..

working on my project proposal......errrrrr!!!!!

supressed and numb

pag sobrang sakit pala, mas mahirap umiyak..

manhid na yata ako sa sakit..

tama pa ba yung nararamdaman ko..

yung pakiramdam na hindi na yata ako nasasaktan..

o manhid na talaga ako?

siguro mas mabuti na yung ganito..

hindi ako nasasaktan para hindi na ako iiyak..

pero teka, bakit parang....?






sa wakas, umiyak din ako!!

somehow...

I felt for him. Now I understand what's within him (somehow). Thank God, at last my questions were answered. Thanks baby for making things clear to me. I love you!

='(

i am praying hard that today won't be my hardest day....

?????

did you already give me up? ='(

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

='(

huay.....

I can't explain exactly how I feel when he hugged me. All I can say is that somehow he's there and though I don't have him for real, I know and I feel that what we're having is something for real. Thanks for everything - for all the pains and tears and for your love. I LOVE YOU BABY!

my angel

I saw a stall at SM where I can know who my angel is for free. So I asked the lady who is it. She first stared at me after looking at something, the listing I guess, then she told me that my angel is "St. Michael". I was speechless for a minute or two. Then I told myself, "so kailangan pareho talaga sila." The lady asked me why I was stunned, I told her that I have this "special friend" whose name is same with my angel. Huay, napag-isip na naman ako...

mweow!

Today's our mini costume party at the office. I just put on my black cat head band and my black low v neck cut blouse from Morgan and black slacks.

He hugged and kissed me - what a good thing to start the month. :D