"just like heaven"

It's been awhile since I posted my last entry here. I guess I was not in the mood for writing these past few days. Well, I was actually looking for way where I can spend my time without being stuck with thoughts of him.

Last Saturday, he was with me again. But not like before, I was aloof and I felt very uneasy walking close with him. We were sharing one umbrella, and that situation really made my feel uncomfy. We used to held hands, but that time I really tried not to touch his skin. I was very careful walking. It was an awkward feeling. The man who used to hold my hands was a total stranger to me that time. I tried not to show any emotions for I don't want to mess things up again with him. I know now where I should stand and I promise myself that I will not get close to him again, not until he's ready for a true commitment. When we reached the mall, I fixed immediately my umbrella and bid him goodbye. I wanted to keep his company but I can't stand the awkward feeling. I also wanted to invite him to go for a movie but I just keep that invitation to myself for I don't want to give him the wrong impression.

I watched "just like heaven" ALONE. It was actually a very sad setup, sitting all by yourself in the dark, watching a sappy movie. But then I realized, I chose to be alone so I should not be sad. I had proved to myself that I am really a tough one. And I was glad I was able to finally, somehow, move on and still moving on so I can find inner peace and happiness. But sometimes, being alone is not an easy thing. Anyway, I am still me. Bruised yet fighting and still believing that someday I will meet him.

It's a funny thing though that I can still feel my heart beating......

It's been seven months.....








do I need to tell you more?

=(

...ang pusa nalulungkot. bakit kaya? huay.....