"ME"..... where am I now?

Why is it I have the feeling of emptiness though I have my family with me? There is my baby girl and my man and yet the feeling is strong. It is so strong that sometimes it drives me to insanity and makes me think of regression and numbness. My friends say I have a good life but I don’t feel it. I am finding it hard to digest why some of them are very envy of me. Do they really exist? Darn, I don’t think so.

I am not saying that I hate my married life. I love my man and my kid. I love having sleepless nights nursing my baby; I love preparing my man’s stuff for work; I love people saying that the three of us looks good together; I love everything I have now. But despite of these all, I still feel empty. Yeah, I have those, but I don’t have “ME”. What made me say that? 'Cause probably I lost the real me, the real me that used to have a smile on her face even after a very irate day; a funny spiel to make the atmosphere light and comfy; a serious thought to make herself say she’s not immature; and a simple thought just to ease all the worries.

“ME”, where am I now? Can someone help me find my old self? Nah, I don’t need anybody’s help. I just need myself. I am tough, I am just. I know I am..